


those left behind...

by IndiannaJones5



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:29:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndiannaJones5/pseuds/IndiannaJones5
Summary: Mo - Mo Guan ShanXi - ZhengxiHe - He TianYi - Jian Yi
Relationships: He Tian/Mo Guan Shan, Zhengxi/Jian Yi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

Mo - 'Why did you never tell me?'

Xi - 'You weren't in the right state of mind, you were much too volatile to handle something like that.'

**Mo shrunk back defeatedly, looking lost.**

**He Tian went to stand, the movement seeming to kick-start his thoughts again. His eyes darkened dangerously, and he now stood tall.**

**Defiant.**

Mo - 'I'd waited for him, for years. I'd wanted him, for years!'

**That last part, his voice had betrayed him. Cracking over the emotional words.**

Mo - ' -I'd loved him, for years.'

**As if he were drawn back into himself, he whispered this. Feeling finished with the conversation already.**

**A moment passed, and He Tian stood, and walked over to Mo. And placed a hand on his shoulder.**

**_too much_ **

**_too close_ **

**_seconds away, millimetres_ **

**_time went back_ **

**_painful memories on an unwanted replay_ **

**_on an endless loop_ **

**_please, not again_ **

He - ' ...you love me?'

**skin on skin (** _**THAT'S NOT ALLOWED** _ **)**

**a stumble**

**a step back**

**eyes full of disgust**

Mo - 'Loved.'

**His stomach flipped.**

**He suddenly felt sick.**

**One hand clenching and unclenching at his side, intermittently, turning a painful white. The other, edging towards his mouth.**

**Moments passed again.**

**Nothing said.**

**Nothing could be said.**

**A touch to his lower back had him almost heaving.**

**Causing him to stumble away blindly.**

Yi - 'Mo Guan Shan, breathe.'

**The voice was calming. And it worked. He was slowly calming down.**

**Until He Tian moved closer to hmi again.**

**His back hit the wall, coughing harshly now, he started shaking.**

Xi - 'Fuck sakes, back off He Tia- '

**A quiet whimper from where I stood shut him up. (** _**WAS THAT ME?** _ **)**

Xi - 'Just. Move alright! Give him some room, you fucking inconsiderate bastard!'

**He now stood several passes away from me.**

Yi - 'Mo?'

**I looked at those kind pale eyes.**

Yi - 'Just copy me. In and out, that's it, nice and gentle. Breathe, in and out.'

**This kindness was sharp and unknown. Overwhelming me. I started feeling sick again. I could feel it festering, like a disease.**

**contaminated**

**disgusting**

**abhorrent**

**abhor-**

Mo - 'Jian, I think I'm going t- '

**I couldn't even finish before I felt it clawing its way up my throat.**

**Burning me**

**Suddenly facing a toilet, I began retching.**

**A cautious hand rubbed circles into my back.**

**My body went rigid.**

**I looked and saw He Tian crouching next to me.**

**A yelp tore cried from my sore throat and I scrambled across the floor to get away.**

Xi - 'Mo!'

**I could feel tears wetting my cheeks and my body, determined to throw up again. My empty stomach made me cough violently.**

Yi - 'Shh, it's alright Mo.'

**A tissue was brought to my mouth and wiped across.**

**I sat back and did my best to follow what Jian Yi was asking of my lungs.**

**With the help of them both, I was lied down on a bed.**

**My breathing was better now, but my shaking still persisted.**

**And then they closed the door behind them.**

**Leaving me in the** _**dark** _ **.**

He - 'Please let m- '

**His hand was slapped away from the closed bedroom door.**

Xi - 'You’re not going anywhere near him.'

**Jian Yi sighed and slumped against the wall.**

He - 'Let me talk to him, please! It's the first time I've seen him in almost 20 years!'

Xi - 'You saw how he acted, and you still, want to go see him?'

Yi - 'I don't- '

**Jian Yi's contribution to the conversation stopped them both talking.**

Yi - 'I understand he's upset with you for leaving for so long -don't look at me like that. That was a dick move. But, I don't think it would've made him act like _that_.'

**Zhengxi frowned, thinking it over.**

Xi - 'He never acted like that when his mom died. This was, I dunno? I'd say an overreaction, but. He's not like he was in Highschool. He acts more like you, if I'm being honest, He Tian ...he's a very quiet and reserved person.'

He - 'His mum, died?'

**Zhengxi's eyes widened slightly, and Jian Yi sighed shaking his head.**

Xi - 'Yea, 3 years after you left. When he was living with his dad again.'

**He Tia frowned, confused.**

He - 'His dad?'

**Zhengxi nodded.**

Xi - 'He got rel- '

**Jian Yi slapped his hand over his mouth.**

Yi - 'Don't. It's not for you to say.'

**Zhengxi just nodded in reply, a sad look in his eye.**

\-----

He - 'I just. Just let me talk to him. I need to see him. It's killing me that he's only the other side of that door. I need- Please just- You can even follow me. I won't go anywhere near him, I promise just- '

**A ragged sigh come from between his lips and his eyes, too tired and dark from a person that young.**

Xi - 'No. Yi - 'Okay.'

**Zhengxi's head snapped to Jian Yi.**

Xi - 'Are you nuts?!'

Yi - 'There going to talk at some point. At least let him now, whilst we're both here with them. In case He Tian decides to fuck up again.'

Xi - '-But!'

Yi - 'Just for a bit. Then he's getting the fuck out of my house.'

**Zhengxi's jaw grated and cracked, eyes narrowing at He Tian.**

Xi - 'If, he cries, or anything like earlier, I swear... '

He - 'I won't.

Yi - 'Look me in the eye.'

**He Tian looked at him.**

Yi - 'You leave when I say. As soon as I say. Do you understand?'

**He Tian nodded.**

**Gently, Jian Yi pushed the bedroom door open and they all walked in.**

**Jian Yi sat at the end of the bed and Zhengxi stood near He Tian at the very back of the room.**

**At first Mo just stared at He Tian, like he couldn't believe he was even there.**

He - 'Momo?'

**Mo twitched at the old nickname, and closed his eyes sighing.**

Mo - 'Why?'

**He opened them again, but was now looking at Jian Yi and Zhengxi.**

**His frown deepening as he looked at He Tian again.**

Mo - 'Why? Would you let him- Why did you bring him back in here?'

**He brought his knees to his chest and started rocking.**

Mo - 'So many, so, so many.'

**He shook his head.**

Mo - 'Pick one, any one. Play a game with me, you were always good that those. Anyone. Go on! Pick one! Any day ...You could pick any day over the last 20 years, and I promise you, I will have been feeling the same thing.'

He - 'What, was it?'

**His eyes narrowed to darkened slits.**

**They flicked to Jian Yi and Zhengxi, like he's forgotten that they were still in the room.**

**He looked back to He Tian again, and his lips turned in to a vile smirk.**

Mo - 'Why would I tell you? He wouldn't want me to tell you anyway, and neither do I, to be honest. I'm not that kind, nor _forgiving a person_... '

**He Tian took a sudden step forwards, only to be stopped by Zhengxi's hand on his arm, pulling him back.**

**The movement had** _**startled** _ **Mo, and he'd immediately scrambled further up the bed.**

**His cocky smirk was** _**gone** _ **, and now only terror seemed to register in his eyes.**

Mo - 'Why- When did you get in here?!'

**He'd started crying again, his eyes now red from tears.**

**Opposite to what he's said earlier, Zhengxi just stood confused, and gaping at Mo. Not even attempting to stop He Tian as he took another step forwards.**

He - 'Momo, you've just been talking to me? I've- We've all been in here for at least 5/10 minutes, at least..?'

**Confusion and worry clouded his eyes.**

Yi - 'Mo, you were just talking to him- us.'

**Jian Yi looked to Zhengxi, who only frowned, equally as confused.**

Mo - 'But you only just left the room, a second ago. Not even that?!'

Yi - 'No Mo, I talked to those 2 for awhile before we even came back in here.'

**Zhengxi had let go of He Tian already, and now moved closer to Mo.**

**So He Tian just followed.**

Mo - 'I don't, I don't understand?'

**Tears were now a continuous stream, rolling down his cheeks.**

**He squint his eyes shut, to try and clear his blurry vision.**

**And when he opened them, his gaze was focused solely on** _**He Tian** _ **.**

Mo - 'I don't- What did I say? I can't! I can't remember... '

**Sobbing now, caused his shaking to start again, and much worse than before.**

Mo - 'What's wrong with me?'

**Jian Yi had been supporting his back, but when He Tian sat on the bed, he gently pulled Mo towards him into a hug. Resting his head on top of Mo's.**

He - 'Shhh, shhh. There's nothing wrong with you Momo.'

**Gently rocking him and rubbing soothing circles into his back, he gradually pulled Mo into his lap. Side on, so he could see his face and keep him close.**

**Tugging Jian Yi, Zhengxi pulled him out of their bedroom and into the spare bedroom next door.**

**Knowing, that leaving them alone was probably for the best, for now.**

**As Mo's breathing got steadier, He Tian gradually lay back, so his back was resting again the wall, so that Mo could be in a more 'lying down' position, that would be more comfortable for him to fall asleep.**

**It took several hours until Mo had calmed down enough to fall asleep.**

**Resting on He Tian's chest, he gently rolled Mo and wrapped his arms around him, bringing the covers up around them both.**

**He Tians soon fell asleep to the quiet sound of Mo's heartbeat and breathing.**

**And, for the first time in almost 20 years, Mo Guan Shan had no nightmares.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mo - Mo Guan Shan  
> Xi - Zhengxi  
> He - He Tian  
> Yi - Jian Yi

It was no secret that Mo Guan Shan trusted him. It had become clearer over the years they'd known each other, and as they had gotten closer.

They went to the same university, they spent the weekends together (with Jian Yi and Zhengxi too, when they weren't busy).

**_They lived together._ **

But, after so so many years. ' _That '_ had now been stretched thin.

And everyone could see how easily it could going to snap.

  
The situation Mo was in, (if you could even call it that) had caused him to become wary of, well, _everyone_...

Even when Jian Yi had tried to calm him down, it had severely spooked him.

( _And I know I wasn't the only one who saw the hurt and worry in Jian's eyes_ ).

The morning after that saddening night, Zhengxi had left a still dozing Jian to peered into their bedroom to see both Mo and He Tian asleep.

He was always a cautious and alert person, I guess a Mafia's son will tend to inherit that, so it was no suprise when He Tian's eyes opened and looked up to Zhengxi.

Frowning, he looked down to the sleeping Mo held tightly in his arms, he sighed, and gently started pushing himself.

At the sudden weight balance on the bed, Mo rolled away from He Tian, and almost off the bed.

If it had not been for Zhengxi's quick reflexes, he would've rolled off completely.

Carefully, he rolled him back over to He Tian.

Mo unconsciously snuggled back into He Tian's chest and rested his head back on his arm.

With Mo baring weight on him again, He Tian laid back down.

Confused, he looked up to Zhengxi.

He - 'I thought you wanted me to leave, I've been here all night- '

He glanced at the clock sat on the bedside table.

He - '-morning. Jesus, Xi. I've been lying here for almost an entire day. I can't stay her- '

Xi - 'Your right. This is Jian's and my home. And neither of us really want you here. But it doesn’t matter... not really.'

Sighing, he slumped down next to the bed, and started twiddling with the duvet throw hanging over the bed.

Xi - 'I- I don't know what to do He Tian.'

He looked at him, He Tian's eyes were downcast, watching Mo's face as he stroked his fingers through the bright coloured hair.

Xi - 'He's been- in a bad way for awhile. But I thought, with my regular visits to his flat. And Jian working pretty much next door to his restaurant, he gets to see him daily. More or less. Shi Li’s sister works as a waitress for him, and surprisingly, they get along really well. I mean, christ, even my little sister works there as a pot-washer part-time. I thought, I hoped, that that was enough. **But apparently, fucking not!'**

Zhengxi smashed his hand into the bed frame. It caused the bed to lurch away from where he sat.

Mo - 'Who's- ?'

On hearing Mo speaking, he was suddenly uncomfortably worried he had just woken him up, after acting out like a fucking twat.

Mo groaned and moved closer to He Tian.

Mo - ' ...please don't- '

He - 'Shh, it's okay. Shhh... '

Mo - ‘Who’s?’

He - ‘It’s just me Momo.’

Mo - ‘But y- ’

He - ‘Go back to sleep Mo, it's just me, it’s alright.’

Groaning, Mo moved impossibly closer to He Tian. And after a tense moment, Mo let out a quiet sigh and fell asleep again.


End file.
